Gotta say it

Yeah, so people are stupid and hateful and unkind and selfish and self-centered and I'm sick of it. 
I'm sick of being the person who is too nice and lets everyone walk all over them. 

I'm sick of being the person who gets treated like crap, for no apparent reason.
 
What makes a person think I do anything in my life based upon them?  

What makes a person think they have the right to be hateful about me and my family
b/c they feel like it?

What makes that kind of person tick?  What makes that kind of person happy?

THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU!!

I'm sick of it and I'm done.  I'm done with this crap.  I might not ever say anything.  I might not ever be as hateful as this person is, but I'm sure as heck done trying.  

Adios.

S

I should...

be in bed.
cleaning the house
working on Anna's website

and there are probably 10 other things I should be doing that I'm not.  Sigh.  
I've hated that I've left Anna's website unupdated for so long.
I've been working on it for a bit.  There are quite a few things to be updated.  
There are some new things I want to add.  There are tons of new pics to add, lol.  
I don't know how many people actually looked at it regularly but I like to have it anyways.  I'm really glad I'm working on it again.

I'm so excited its October.  Sooo many fun things to do this month, wahoo!  We've got plans for like every weekend and some weekdays too.  LOTS of picture taking opportunities too, wahoo!

My brothers have been living with my dad for about a week & 1/2 now.  So far, so good.  They are quickly forgetting that they were sure they'd want to come back every weekend, lol.  They were supposed to come over some for fall break but I think "obligations" to friends are gonna get in the way.  I miss them (and so does Anna) and I'd like to see them but its ok, I understand.  I'm just happy they are adjusting okay.

Oh and Shay (the oldest of the two) told me today that my Dad might have some little girlfriend.   Well, he says they are just friends but it would appear that she really likes him and he likes spending time with her too.  How cute is that?  It feels a little weird thinking of my Dad with another woman but at the same time, he totally deserves it.  They met in AA. He's still sober, too, which is awesome.  I have hope for him.  The only thing that really sucks, in my mind, is that to grad from AA they are supposed to apologize to everyone.  I don't feel like he owes me anything persay but causing me to scream, "please don't kill yourself Daddy" in the middle of the night over the phone while he was claiming to be taking excessive amounts of pills might be one of those things he should apologize for.  I hope he's doing it right and not just doing what he can get away with to look good to people.  

He HAS to be real to people and to himself, for once, if anything is going to be alright.  Sheesh.  I haven't really spoken to him in awhile, not really much at all since he tried to kill himself the last time. Well, I take that back.  There was that time that he tried to guilt me into talking and making up (like it works that way) with my mother so she could stop trying to say I was the reason she wasn't get ther surgery.   Not so I wouldn't have the guilt over my head but so that she would go get the surgery.  Whatever.  Its in the past right?  I just don't know what to say to him anymore.  My mother hasn't even tried speaking to me anymore.  I guess she gives up.  I'm fine with that.
The holidays are gonna be so strange this year, without my side of the family.  LOL, at least it will probably be without drama though!

S

BEST husband in the WORLD!

So yeah, I've always thought it but now I have proof! The proof comes in the form of a photography studio in my guestroom. Yeah, I said it, a photography studio. I've had a dream of doing professional photography and that wonder of a man named Brett has decided to go ahead and help me along the way. I'm sure there is still plenty to be had but umbrella lamps, a new dslr and tripod, fabric and a professional printer go a long, LONG way. Actually to tell the truth, he got me ever more than that, but maybe I won't drone on and on about the details. I still have alot to learn and probably more to buy but I'm on my way dang it!

On the other hand, Anna has been a handful these past few days. She's a bit congested so I don't know if her not feeling great has anything to do with it but we've been in defiance CENTRAL! Sheesh, I hope it passes quickly.

S

Been awhile

So its been a bit since I've blogged, oops. I think this shall mostly be an Anna brag blog. So beware, lol.

Have I ever mentioned what a little songbird my child is. Seriously, she knows multitudes of songs by heart. I've never known a kid so young to know so many songs. Heck, I think she might know more songs by heart than I do. Its really really cute. Let me try to think of a quick list.

Twinkle Twinkle
Jesus Loves Me
Itsy Bitsy Spider
Where is Thumbkin?
Down by the station
Row Row your boat
Wheels on the Bus
Happy and You Know It
Heads Shoulders Knees and Toes
3 Blind mice
Baa Baa Black Sheep
How much is that doggy in the window?
Old Macdonald
Pop goes the Weasel
Jingles Bells
The Big Comfy Couch Song
Bob the Builder Song
Rescue Pack song
Hush little baby
Happy Birthday
The Alphabet Song
The Barney Song
Going to the zoo
Pussy cat Pussy cat
Do lord (chorus line)
Meet you in the morning (Chorus line)
Elmo's World
Stop and Go
Open the Eyes of my heart Lord
Dig it (chorus)
Dig Deep (chorus)
Archaeology
The WHOLE song of Pinch Me (Bare Naked Ladies)
First verse of Freshmen by the Verve
First Verse of Hang by Matchbox 20
So Happy Together
Chorus of Ridin' Dirty
Chorus of Over my Head
Chorus of Had a Bad day


Yeah, and I think there are more that she at least knows the chorus of. Its crazy, I tell you. If she doesn't end up with some serious music talent I will forever be shocked. She can hum the music to the songs. She can recognize all the songs if they are hummed to her. She can recognize the songs from the first several notes of music. She'll make up new songs to the music of other songs. She can recognize if one songs sounds is sung to the beat of another song. And she can dance to the beat of them all. Not just crazy white girl flapping around but cute little rhythmic dancing. She'll even imitate dancing she sees kids doing on tv, pretty well, I might add. I have wanted musical talent my whole life. I'm a huge music person. This makes a mommy proud, I tell ya!

So, the really cute part? We sing her songs every night. She asks for more and more songs lately. The day before yesterday, she started singing along with me. I typically sing her "YOu are my sunshine" every night. That night, she sang it with me. I cried. Literally. Its one of the sweetest, most precious things to hear her sweet little voice singing back to me, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine". Seriously, I'm tearing up just thinking about it. It doesn't get much sweeter than this. She's, without a doubt, one of the best things in the world.

S

I can't believe its been 5 years

So yeah, it was 5 years ago, I can't believe that horrible day has already hit its 5 year anniversary. Somedays I still can't believe it even happened. I didn't know anyone there and don't even know anyone who knew someone there. I think its so easy for us all to put some distance between us and what happened. In some ways, after it happened, some had to. All that death and sadness was so hard to handle, day after day. BUT, now, I think we have to be careful not to keep that distance. We need to remember what happened. We need to not embrace a false sense of security. We need not forget those who sacrificed their lives to try to save others. We need not forget all of those innocent people who never deserved to have their lives taken in such a horrible manner. We need not forget that such evil exists and is prevalent today.

I hate it all.

S

Must...have... air...

I don't mean oxygen, by the way, I mean air conditioning. We took Anna to get her pictures made Friday and when we came home, it was like 80 degree in our house, BLECH! So, Brett called around, like he's supposed to, and then called our church's fix-it man - Mark. Mark was in Murfreesboro then so wouldn't be able to come until Saturday. Blech, but at least its been cool at night. We opened all the windows (much to my sinus's irritation) and turned on all the fans and did our best. Yeah, so Mark came today and has been working on it off and on all day. Its STILL hot in here. At first he tried to say we just froze it up, that is until it was unfrozen and still not working. I believe its showing it to be about 83-84 degrees in the house right now and my eyes are bright red from all the pollen infiltrating my system. It should be illegal to live without a/c, I even took a cold shower today.

S

She can read???

Yeah, so she can't really but its sure cute anyways.  Anna has the Dr. Seuss book titled "Put me in the zoo".  Its about this crazy spotted animal that longs to be in the zoo. 
On just about every page, there is a sign of some sorts pointing to the zoo or that says zoo.  I try to point out
words to her and so I'm sure I've shown her that it says zoo.  Well, now she remembers.  To an outsider, it would
probably look like she can read.  "It says zoo", "there's zoo again!"  "This one says circus" (yeah the last sign 
says circus!).  LOL.

And then today we were doing a puzzle that has colors labeled on it.  I was showing her the word and
telling her what color it said.  Each word is the color it spells and is underneath the puzzle peice of the sam
color.  LOL, she caught on really quick though and "read" each of the other words to me, about 8 in all.

Yeah, so maybe I should go onto my May 04 board on BBC and tell everyone that, I'm SUUURE that would go 
over lovely, lol.

S